17 Apr Spring Renewal–For Our Relationships!
You could swear your words are clear as day,
but the other person just doesn’t seem to “get it.”
You both feel like screaming,
“You’re not listening to me!”
Many upsets and arguments start with NOT feeling heard and understood.
Spring renewal for our relationships starts with HOW WE LISTEN without reacting.
If you’d like to put an end to that crazy-making waste of your time and ensure that you will have happier relationships,
more love and less frustration…
join us for the Empathy Salon… where feeling heard and understood rocks!
Being heard and understood starts with 5 keys
which we’ll explore in the upcoming Empathy Salon, April 28th.
1) Get Curious! Curiosity is like a super power for staying more calm, clear and focused on listening without needing to defend a certain point of view. When we stay in pure discovery mode- seeking to understand- we save ourselves from falling into flight, fight or freeze- the three enemies of clear communication.
2) Mindful Presence: Imagine being so present and grounded that nothing could perturb you. Holding an unshakeable mindset free of J.A.I. L.—judgments, assumptions, interpretations and labels—is what this world needs more of! Olympic Athletes train their entire life to be in the zone—being super-present with expanded awareness of every moment is essential to peak performance. What if we could devote so much dedication to the quality of presence we create in our relationships?!
3) Intention to Connect: Do you wanna be right or do you wanna be happy? When you focus on choosing to understand more than on being right, then you’re on the high road to happiness.
4) Discover Universal NEEDS/Values: When we focus our attention on identifying what matters most to ourselves and others at the most basic human level—kindness, respect, caring—we steer clear of the pitfalls of the blame game and move towards each other with understanding and compassion.
5) Guessing to Connect: We make empathic guesses (verbally) to discover what the other person might be feeling and needing underneath their upset, frustration, or pain. With care we create a way for each person to be fully heard and understood. We feel closer, safer and respected when we feel “gotten.” We build trust and connection instead of fueling disconnection, upsets and misunderstandings.
Notice that the 1st four parts of Listening to UNDERSTAND – curiosity, presence, intention to connect, universal needs– are SILENT. Hence why we all need a PAUSE BUTTON, before we open our mouths!
Pause…get curious…breathe in presence (free of J.A.I.L)… focus on connection to Universal Needs…
Listen long before you open your mouth and you’ll be amazed at how your relationships will spring into more ease, connection, respect, contentment and happiness.
Join us for the Empathy Salon April 28th and get a head start on spring training for your relationships!
Hope to see you at the Empathy Salon,